Yay! I'm happy :-)

Guess what! I got my first post! How pathetic is that? I mean, I've had this blog up three months and I've only gotten one comment? Okay, it's a long comment, I'll give you that much, but it's still just one comment.

Okay, Mr. Anonymous (or Ms. Anonymous, since I really have no clue who you are, hence the Anonymous part), let me attempt to set you straight on a few things.

First off, I sincerely doubt that I'll delete the post entitled "List of Helpful Hints To Not Be Broke and/or Poor" anytime soon.

Second off, no offense or anything, but you really sound paranoid.

Third off, I think you're taking this way too seriously. It isn't meant to be taken seriously. I mean, sure, if you applied these things, then your life could improve, but whatever. Way too seriously.

Fourth off, the reason the top 1% have a lot of money is because they either earn a lot of money or they won the lottery or they're dirty thieves like you said. While on the topic of the top 1%, believe it or not, it fluctuates a LOT. Just because someone is rich doesn't mean they'll stay that way.

Fifth off, really, when you get down to it, your comment doesn't have a lot in common with my post. But whatev'. I just love the fact that you actually commented on my blog. Thank you so much!!!

Anyways, please read my blog and comment!

Oh, and Anonymous? You made my day.

Again. How pathetic is that?

Vampires

Okay, I admit it. I'm sick of vampires.

I've read Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn more times than I care to tell. (Which is upwards of five times each.) I read Dangerous Girls by R. L. Stine after I sorta stole it from my friend (It got boring, so I never finished chapter 3 of the second book). I've been watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer on Hulu.com. I've read the first three books of Vampirates, which are, to me, boring.

It reminds me one time when I ate a chocolate donut and sorta puked it up on the car ride home.

That's what it's like. Vampires are chocolate donuts, except they're less edible.

Hey, here's a message for all you semi-rabid Twilight fans out there: BELIEVE IT OR NOT, EDWARD AND BELLA AREN'T REAL. JACOB IS REAL, BUT ONLY BECAUSE THERE'S MORE THAN ONE JACOB IN THE WORLD. WELL, OKAY, IF JACOB EXISTS, THEN I SUPPOSE BELLA SWAN IS REAL BECAUSE I KNOW OF A REAL-LIFE ISABELLA SWAN. NO, I DON'T THINK SHE KNOWS ANY VAMPIRES THAT SHE CAN HOOK YOU UP WITH. SORRY.

Here's one of my annoyances with vamps: Either they drink human blood because they have to but they're still good or they drink it because they want to and they're evil or they don't drink it because of some random, obscure moral obligation that now that I think of it, it isn't obscure or random at all.

Is there some law that vampires have to like the taste of blood?

... Probaby, now that I think of it.

Anyways, here's my idea. What if there's this one vampire that thinks blood tastes gross?

Naturally, everyone of you will think that it's a dumb idea. Like I care. But whatever. Criticize me later.

Here's another one: Vampires are impossible and so authors sometimes try to use science to explain them.

My explaination: Aw, shut up! Who cares? It bogs down the story and causes you to think about the problematic origin of vampires. If you're like me, eventually you'll reach the conclusion that vampires are impossible (which you have to ignore for the story to be enjoyable) and that conclusion will make you be very annoyed with the book and it will be like, "I don't want to read this book. It's lame."

My next problem is that vampires are fiction. Not real. Fake. Made-up. Fantasy. Imagination. Tall tell. A day-dream. (Yeah, I used a thesuarus. www.Theasuarus.reference.com, to be exact.) Now, I don't know about some people, but that's a turn-off for me. If vampires were real (and NOT evil) then I'd be mostly fine with them. Since they aren't, then I've decided to ignore them and the pop culture surrounding them for a decade or so. (Or until Stephenie Meyer announces that another vampire/werewolf/half-vampire book is coming out. In which case I'll have no other option than to go and get twenty bucks and buy it at Target or Barnes & Noble.)

But whatever. Vampires and co. aren't really real, so I don't really care enough about them other than to use them as subject matter for my blog that I haven't updated in about... 13 days. Oh. Wait. I thought it had been longer.

But whatever.

List of Helpful Hints To Not Be Poor and/or Broke

Okay, okay, I admit it. I don't really have a full-time job or have to pay taxes or pretty much anything to do with money (aside from having about $50), but I still think that somehow or other these things will be helpful to some people and redundant to others.

1. Don't get into debt. Now, this may seem painfully obvious, but some people still don't follow this simple piece of advice.
2. Don't gamble. Several major religions council against it and several million people (I don't know the exact number) can testify that they are broke and that they are compulsive gamblers.
3. If you have a job, a car, a place to live, food to eat, and a decent amount of money in the bank, then don't do stupid stuff that will make you lose all that like get a big loan that will buy a motorhome but make it so you'll be paying for it until you're 300 or something. (Yeah, this is pretty much hint #1.)
4. Get a job. No job, no money (assuming that you didn't win the lottery by ignoring my second hint) and no money, you're screwed.
5. Get a good eduaction. Even if test scores don't tell you much other than how much you can memorize and spit back, people are far more likely to hire the accountant that has a diplomia than the guy who says he's good at math and lives with his mom.
6. Solve a problem, sell a product, make someone happy, but don't just sit there waiting for the next big thing to whack you on the head. See, there's already a myspace and iPod out there. The world only needs one. At the same time there's a bunch of little, pesky irriations out there that people would pay a million dollars for. If you could find something that would help people with chronic back pain feel better 50% of the time, then people would pay a LOT of money for it. And that's only 50% of the time!
7. Get connected. Communicate better, write better, be nicer (unless you want to be mean), just do a little bit better at getting to talk to people and getting them to like you enough to maybe talk to you about hiring you.
8. Ask rich people how they got to be rich. They probably know stuff you don't and chances are they'll be willing to share it unless they're the stereotypical rich people that are always on TV.

Again, I have to remind you that I really know next to nothing about getting a job in the real world and how to get people to like you, but I figure that this is all valid advice as long as you use other helpful tips and methods as well. Don't depend solely on this and don't expect me to give you a dollar out of my $50 or so.

Yeah, don't kill me if this messes up your life, but I have a hard time seeing how that would happen since this is basically how not to mess up your life. But oh well. Expect the unexpected. Don't invest all the money you have in the stock market. Don't forget me if you win the lottery.

Oh, and thanks for reading!